* Practice – Don’t wait until someone triggers your resentment to figure out how to respond. Role play the scene your head while wishing the person well. Being prepared will allow you to handle the situation with calm and grace.
* Talk It Out – If you’re already nursing a grudge, talk about with a friend who you can see both sides. if you unburden yourself to someone who’s to sympathetic, they’ll just take your side and you won’t be able to find the insight that might lead to forgiveness.
* Look At It Another Way – Sometimes the thing that made you angry turns out to be based on a misunderstanding. If you consider the possibility that the offender didn’t set out to hurt you, the wrong may begin to look pretty insignificant.
* Ditch The Victim Identity – Obsessing about old offenses and nursing righteous anger can make you feel important. The danger is that this kind of negativity will take over your life and become the way you define yourself.
* Remember It’s For You – As much as it may feel like it, forgiving someone isn’t about saying their wrong was okay. ” It isn’t a negotiation”. “It is a gift both to the person who is forgiven and to the person who forgives”.